verlichting (ii)

So my breakdown and breakthrough...

is not going to be for everybody.

It happened that way to mé... There were réasons why it happened that way... I was working alone on myself, with no friends, no fellow travelers, no commune. To work alone, one is bound to get into many troubles - because there are moments which can only be called 'nights of soul', so dark and so dangerous.

It seems as if you have come to the last breathe of your life. That this is death, nothing else. That experience is a nervous breakdown. Facing death, and nobody to support, and nobody to encourage, and nobody to say: "Not to be worried, this will pass away"...

That "This is is only a nightmare, and the morning is very close. Darker the night, the closer is the sunrise. Don't be worried!"... Nobody around whom you trust, who trusts you... that was the reason for the nervous breakdown.

But, it was not harmful.

It looked harmful at the moment, but soon the dark night was gone, and the sunrise was there. The breakdown had become the breakthróugh.


~osho~
the last testament iii
(1986) - ch.29